Starting from today onwards, I will have a new bi-monthly feature of my blog, the agony column/ advice. In this section, feel free to ask me about anything that you want, especially if you are suffering from intense physical or mental torment. Remember, Perdana, your agony uncle will stand by you through thick and thin. Do not feel embarrassed to share your problems with me. For confidentiality, drop me an e-mail at p_putra1989@yahoo.com with subject title “Dear Perd.” It’s my affidavit that your real identity will not be divulged although letters may be edited for length and clarity. Please include your age.
So… the next time round you just want someone to cast some light on the situation you are in, let me be that person. Whether it’s about work, school, family or friends, the first step you have to take in order to solve the problem is by knowing what to do. And sometimes, you just need another person’s perspective to know what to do. We all need catharsis, trust me.
The following letters are genuine even though I adapt them to fit this column.
Q: Dear Perd, I scored ten points for my L1R5 in the O-levels and my parents are forcing me to go to a JC because they want me to follow the conservative route of going to the University. The problem is, I’ve had enough of exams and have set my heart on joining polytechnic instead now that they offer Psychology at Ngee Ann Poly. How can I convince my folks? They are stubborn!
A Polytechnic Fan, 16
A: Dear A Polytechnic Fan, congratulations for being the very first person to be featured on my “Dear Perd.” column! Looks like being stubborn is hereditary (I know you personally and I guess, you can sometimes be stubborn, too. Haha.). You must not be impudent towards your parents lest they call you “incorrigible daughter.” Two wrongs don’t make a right, you see.
I guess the dilemma that you are in now is that you want to be a filial daughter who listens to her parents yet your parents don’t seem to share the same perspective as you in this crossroad of choosing a post-secondary institution that fits you best. While it is true that parents know best, it’s not all the time they do. No offense to all parents.
Going to a polytechnic can be seen as a “waste of talent” by some because it seems inferior to JC. Don’t fret; I am going to tell you a few good reasons why the education you are going to receive in a poly is as good as that in a JC—if not better.
The Ministry of Education states, “Today, polytechnic graduates are valued as practice-oriented and knowledgeable middle-level professionals, much sought after by industry.” If you already know what kind of career that you would like to build at this stage of your life, go to a polytechnic by all means. JC provides students with broad-based skills to prepare them for university education, whereas polytechnics provide a more practical ground for students to excel in their career because the scope is comparatively narrower, allowing students to specialize. With over 100 courses offered by the five local polytechnics, making a choice of course is bewildering but you already have that advantage in the sense that you know Psychology is what you intend to do in future. Being specific, polytechnics equip students with the relevant skills that they need for their career. The courses will endow you with crucial and pertinent professional skills.
An often gung-ho approach to securing a decent job is by going to a university but Singapore is so developed now no one particular education route has comparative advantage over another. It’s so unfortunate that people cease to value such skills owned by polytechnic students because these are the skills that you eventually need to get that dream job. In three years after your O-levels, you will be ready for the working world, earning substantial income, all before you even turn 20!
Basically, isn’t the purpose of our education curriculum is to train our young to contribute to the economy? With the hands-on approach that polytechnics adopt, this purpose can be achieved even earlier since there is rarely one job in our economy that requires mere theoretical knowledge.
You’ve had enough of exams (so have I!), but never let that be the sole reason why you prefer polytechnic education instead. Yes, it’s a boon not to have anymore formal written examinations after those PSLE and O-levels but it’s so shallow and superficial of you to avoid JC only because you don’t like exams. No one whom I have spoken to does. Anyhow, the reason why polytechnics place less emphasis on formal exams is because you are assessed more through your daily work, participation in class, homework and internships. Speaking of internships, they are also another contributing factor that makes polytechnic graduates are highly prized. Calculate how much is that “real world” experience you gain during your stint worth.
In Singapore, there this increasing demand for polytechnic graduates and although diploma holders have a lower starting salary as compared to a bachelor’s degree holder, for example, don’t forget that you start working earlier. Diploma holders thus have a kick-start in their career development. You get to climb up that career ladder (and salary ladder) earlier!
If you think that going to a university is difficult for a diploma holder, think again. There is a high percentage of the polytechnic cohort that goes up to the university as well. My undergraduate friends can easily pinpoint a polytechnic graduate in their class because a polytechnic graduate always seems to be more experienced and able than their peers graduating from JC. And to top it up, polytechnic graduates are given at least one year exemption in the local universities, giving them enough time to graduate with that first-class honor.
I hope all these can help you in convincing your parents to send you to a polytechnic instead. I am not saying that JC education is not good and stuff because I’m sure every education path that we take has its pros and cons. It’s up to us to judge all the possible options and weigh them. Everyone has different needs. Frankly speaking, I myself would prefer going to a polytechnic if they had diploma course in Law and Economics (Temasek Poly only offers Diploma in Management of Law).
But still, remember this: whatever decision your parents make, appreciate it. You must get their blessings no matter what. Do not be obstinate and defy all your parents’ will. It’s what they call impertinence. No sane parents I think would want the second-best for their children. Good luck in convincing your folks!
Q: Dear Perd, I have this very skinny friend who thinks that she is fat and I just don’t understand! I mean, she only eats salads, sandwiches, and she barely touches dessert or other treats. I think she is too obsessed. She’s overdoing it as her diet is too strict for a growing young lady to have enough nutrition. How can I make her realize that she is NOT fat?
A Food Lover, 18
A: First of all, I must really applaud you for being a very caring friend. This ‘skinny’ friend of yours must be really fortunate to have such a friend like you.
Unfortunately, it’s this growing craze in our society that skinny equals to being beautiful and big is so not beautiful. Like, every girl in town is so obsessed to have a thin frame like a mannequin so that they can put on that dress and look beautiful in it. What an irony. Ask your friend to see those women in US or Australia and compare their build with hers. Seriously, I get really annoyed with this stereotype that skinny is the new beautiful. Whoever started this brainless fad is a real nincompoop. You should recommend your friend to see a doctor; she might have an eating disorder from all those Waldorf salads.
I think your friend’s problem is that she doesn’t see herself the way you do her. As much as you want to help her, most girls are sensitive about this issue and by telling her straight in the face that she should stop all this stupidity is not going to help you at all. It might even strain your relationship. It’s all in her mind and if I were you, I would gather more observations first from those who know her equally well and ask if they think the way you do, too. After that, start by telling your friend that she is already beautiful in her own way and that beauty is subjective, tell her how many guys get turned off by scrawny girls who look like a walking skeleton, and being gaunt as if you hadn’t eaten for months is sooo ugly. Some guys even like their girls curvaceous while some go more for personality rather than physical attraction. Tell her that everybody loves her that way, for everything that she is and everything that she is not. She doesn’t need to be skinny, not at all. It all sounds cliché but do not practice reverse psychology for this case, it’s too risky. Should need be, remain calm and don’t lose your cool. Your patience is demanded here.
All in all, bear in mind that there is just so much that you can help as a friend. Eventually it’s she herself who has to put in that effort to change. You have tried your best. Thus, don’t blame yourself if your best just wasn’t enough.
That sums up this entry of mine. I hope you all enjoy reading it a much as I enjoyed writing it, if not more. Many have told me that my entries are so deep and profound. That’s a compliment I’m thankful for. I reckon that being reflective and contemplative is one feature of my blog that I shall maintain. That’s how I can ensure that my blog stands out from million others out there. I mean, everyone has their own life and by posting just what happen in my life is not going to get me anywhere as people get easily bored reading about another person’s mundane life story. What’s so much more interesting in my life that people should read my blog? Practically, nothing. Nil. Zero. Nada.
The difference that http://www.just-perdana-and-you.blogspot.com makes as a blog is that most of my entries revolve around life itself. I use different techniques to incite my readers to meditate on their own life at length. That is why I usually take longer to post an entry as I have to study the possible effects of my writing in others’ lives beforehand. And anyway, you can’t expect me to be introspective everyday, right? Haha. For this reason, I have to make sure that all my entries, no matter how old they are, can never be anachronistic. I’m not trying to inculcate some moral values in you nor am I teaching eschatology here but it’s just me, trying to be wiser and older. I must immortalize what is continuously happening in my present volatile life, so that ten years down the road, when I read this very page you are reading right now, this blog can be an archive of my past, a benchmark for me to measure how much I have grown over time.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being an avid reader, a friend. You have made my metamorphosis from a kid that I was to an adult that I am slowly turning into a sweet process.
Love,
Perd.
P.S: What do you want me to write about in the future entries of my blog? Just write in! Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.
So… the next time round you just want someone to cast some light on the situation you are in, let me be that person. Whether it’s about work, school, family or friends, the first step you have to take in order to solve the problem is by knowing what to do. And sometimes, you just need another person’s perspective to know what to do. We all need catharsis, trust me.
The following letters are genuine even though I adapt them to fit this column.
Q: Dear Perd, I scored ten points for my L1R5 in the O-levels and my parents are forcing me to go to a JC because they want me to follow the conservative route of going to the University. The problem is, I’ve had enough of exams and have set my heart on joining polytechnic instead now that they offer Psychology at Ngee Ann Poly. How can I convince my folks? They are stubborn!
A Polytechnic Fan, 16
A: Dear A Polytechnic Fan, congratulations for being the very first person to be featured on my “Dear Perd.” column! Looks like being stubborn is hereditary (I know you personally and I guess, you can sometimes be stubborn, too. Haha.). You must not be impudent towards your parents lest they call you “incorrigible daughter.” Two wrongs don’t make a right, you see.
I guess the dilemma that you are in now is that you want to be a filial daughter who listens to her parents yet your parents don’t seem to share the same perspective as you in this crossroad of choosing a post-secondary institution that fits you best. While it is true that parents know best, it’s not all the time they do. No offense to all parents.
Going to a polytechnic can be seen as a “waste of talent” by some because it seems inferior to JC. Don’t fret; I am going to tell you a few good reasons why the education you are going to receive in a poly is as good as that in a JC—if not better.
The Ministry of Education states, “Today, polytechnic graduates are valued as practice-oriented and knowledgeable middle-level professionals, much sought after by industry.” If you already know what kind of career that you would like to build at this stage of your life, go to a polytechnic by all means. JC provides students with broad-based skills to prepare them for university education, whereas polytechnics provide a more practical ground for students to excel in their career because the scope is comparatively narrower, allowing students to specialize. With over 100 courses offered by the five local polytechnics, making a choice of course is bewildering but you already have that advantage in the sense that you know Psychology is what you intend to do in future. Being specific, polytechnics equip students with the relevant skills that they need for their career. The courses will endow you with crucial and pertinent professional skills.
An often gung-ho approach to securing a decent job is by going to a university but Singapore is so developed now no one particular education route has comparative advantage over another. It’s so unfortunate that people cease to value such skills owned by polytechnic students because these are the skills that you eventually need to get that dream job. In three years after your O-levels, you will be ready for the working world, earning substantial income, all before you even turn 20!
Basically, isn’t the purpose of our education curriculum is to train our young to contribute to the economy? With the hands-on approach that polytechnics adopt, this purpose can be achieved even earlier since there is rarely one job in our economy that requires mere theoretical knowledge.
You’ve had enough of exams (so have I!), but never let that be the sole reason why you prefer polytechnic education instead. Yes, it’s a boon not to have anymore formal written examinations after those PSLE and O-levels but it’s so shallow and superficial of you to avoid JC only because you don’t like exams. No one whom I have spoken to does. Anyhow, the reason why polytechnics place less emphasis on formal exams is because you are assessed more through your daily work, participation in class, homework and internships. Speaking of internships, they are also another contributing factor that makes polytechnic graduates are highly prized. Calculate how much is that “real world” experience you gain during your stint worth.
In Singapore, there this increasing demand for polytechnic graduates and although diploma holders have a lower starting salary as compared to a bachelor’s degree holder, for example, don’t forget that you start working earlier. Diploma holders thus have a kick-start in their career development. You get to climb up that career ladder (and salary ladder) earlier!
If you think that going to a university is difficult for a diploma holder, think again. There is a high percentage of the polytechnic cohort that goes up to the university as well. My undergraduate friends can easily pinpoint a polytechnic graduate in their class because a polytechnic graduate always seems to be more experienced and able than their peers graduating from JC. And to top it up, polytechnic graduates are given at least one year exemption in the local universities, giving them enough time to graduate with that first-class honor.
I hope all these can help you in convincing your parents to send you to a polytechnic instead. I am not saying that JC education is not good and stuff because I’m sure every education path that we take has its pros and cons. It’s up to us to judge all the possible options and weigh them. Everyone has different needs. Frankly speaking, I myself would prefer going to a polytechnic if they had diploma course in Law and Economics (Temasek Poly only offers Diploma in Management of Law).
But still, remember this: whatever decision your parents make, appreciate it. You must get their blessings no matter what. Do not be obstinate and defy all your parents’ will. It’s what they call impertinence. No sane parents I think would want the second-best for their children. Good luck in convincing your folks!
Q: Dear Perd, I have this very skinny friend who thinks that she is fat and I just don’t understand! I mean, she only eats salads, sandwiches, and she barely touches dessert or other treats. I think she is too obsessed. She’s overdoing it as her diet is too strict for a growing young lady to have enough nutrition. How can I make her realize that she is NOT fat?
A Food Lover, 18
A: First of all, I must really applaud you for being a very caring friend. This ‘skinny’ friend of yours must be really fortunate to have such a friend like you.
Unfortunately, it’s this growing craze in our society that skinny equals to being beautiful and big is so not beautiful. Like, every girl in town is so obsessed to have a thin frame like a mannequin so that they can put on that dress and look beautiful in it. What an irony. Ask your friend to see those women in US or Australia and compare their build with hers. Seriously, I get really annoyed with this stereotype that skinny is the new beautiful. Whoever started this brainless fad is a real nincompoop. You should recommend your friend to see a doctor; she might have an eating disorder from all those Waldorf salads.
I think your friend’s problem is that she doesn’t see herself the way you do her. As much as you want to help her, most girls are sensitive about this issue and by telling her straight in the face that she should stop all this stupidity is not going to help you at all. It might even strain your relationship. It’s all in her mind and if I were you, I would gather more observations first from those who know her equally well and ask if they think the way you do, too. After that, start by telling your friend that she is already beautiful in her own way and that beauty is subjective, tell her how many guys get turned off by scrawny girls who look like a walking skeleton, and being gaunt as if you hadn’t eaten for months is sooo ugly. Some guys even like their girls curvaceous while some go more for personality rather than physical attraction. Tell her that everybody loves her that way, for everything that she is and everything that she is not. She doesn’t need to be skinny, not at all. It all sounds cliché but do not practice reverse psychology for this case, it’s too risky. Should need be, remain calm and don’t lose your cool. Your patience is demanded here.
All in all, bear in mind that there is just so much that you can help as a friend. Eventually it’s she herself who has to put in that effort to change. You have tried your best. Thus, don’t blame yourself if your best just wasn’t enough.
That sums up this entry of mine. I hope you all enjoy reading it a much as I enjoyed writing it, if not more. Many have told me that my entries are so deep and profound. That’s a compliment I’m thankful for. I reckon that being reflective and contemplative is one feature of my blog that I shall maintain. That’s how I can ensure that my blog stands out from million others out there. I mean, everyone has their own life and by posting just what happen in my life is not going to get me anywhere as people get easily bored reading about another person’s mundane life story. What’s so much more interesting in my life that people should read my blog? Practically, nothing. Nil. Zero. Nada.
The difference that http://www.just-perdana-and-you.blogspot.com makes as a blog is that most of my entries revolve around life itself. I use different techniques to incite my readers to meditate on their own life at length. That is why I usually take longer to post an entry as I have to study the possible effects of my writing in others’ lives beforehand. And anyway, you can’t expect me to be introspective everyday, right? Haha. For this reason, I have to make sure that all my entries, no matter how old they are, can never be anachronistic. I’m not trying to inculcate some moral values in you nor am I teaching eschatology here but it’s just me, trying to be wiser and older. I must immortalize what is continuously happening in my present volatile life, so that ten years down the road, when I read this very page you are reading right now, this blog can be an archive of my past, a benchmark for me to measure how much I have grown over time.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being an avid reader, a friend. You have made my metamorphosis from a kid that I was to an adult that I am slowly turning into a sweet process.
Love,
Perd.
P.S: What do you want me to write about in the future entries of my blog? Just write in! Any inputs will be greatly appreciated.
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